Not a By Stander

“Bystanders” is a catch-all term that is often applied to people who are passive and indifferent to activities taking place around them. The news is filled with stories about bystanders watching as people are attacked. Here are some examples:

• PHILADELPHIA (WTXF) An alarming video of a woman being beaten on a city street while a crowd of people watches came to us by a Fresco News user.
•  Police are hunting for a couple who beat a New York City cab driver over an $18 fare as a crowd of bystanders reportedly stood and watched.  
• A Santa Monica woman was punched by a homeless man this week at 2nd and Wilshire, but what hurt the woman more were the men at the scene who did nothing to help.

This phenomenon of being a bystander, especially for men, is evident in the local church, which could not survive if it were not for the ladies working double duty.  It shouldn’t surprise us that most of us men are bystanders today. It goes back to Genesis. In Genesis 3:6 (NIV) we read, “When the woman saw the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”   So while Eve was being tempted, father Adam was the first bystander. This doesn’t make us men look good.

My friend of 41 years, Don Wampler, went to his eternal reward on March 31, 2019 around 3 pm. I had the privilege of being with Don and his family as he made his journey, just like he and his wife Ruby had been with me as my wife made her journey more than 13 years ago.

I have struggled to describe my friend, using phrases such as:     

• A force of nature
• They broke the mold when they made Don
• He died living and never lived dying

The list goes on, but I have found that no description can do justice for this unique and good man. Instead, I’ve found the best way to describe him is to say what he wasn’t. Don Wampler was never a bystander … I mean never.

I met Don 41 years ago when I was an office manager for Lowe’s. It was a Saturday morning and I saw Don pacing outside my office. I had seen him, Ruby, and their son, Randy, at church but we had never met. On this particular morning I saw an angry Don, as a salesman had been rude to Ruby and she had gone home and told Don. He was not going to stand by and let someone speak unkindly to Ruby. We discussed the matter and I assured Don I would take care of it. Thus started a 41-year journey as friends.

 

The more I got to know about Don and spend time with him in Virginia, North Carolina, Indiana, Kansas, and Tennessee, I saw a man who lived life to its fullest.  Don’s passion of always being all in and not being a bystander began at an early age. He protected his mother when he was 12 years old, and then his little brother Gary when Don was a teenager. Don heard the good news of Jesus Christ as a young boy and actively began to trust and serve Jesus.  He was not a bystander in sharing the good news with his own father, who came to faith through Don’s witness.  

Don certainly wasn’t a bystander when he originally saw a beautiful Ruby Greene in a church choir. He told me that he was smitten at first glance and his determination resulted in a blessed 56-year marriage.

The examples of Don not being a bystander is so long it requires a list:

• Active in high school sports, Don was a good athlete
• He proudly and faithfully served his country in the Air Force
• A respected colleague at Sprint for almost 30 years, Don was known as a leader who was both knowledgeable and who could get things done
• A dedicated father, he was always there for Randy
•  He was a church leader in Virginia, North Carolina, and Tennessee. When Don and Ruby saw the need for a camp for pre-teens, they started the Fellowship Chapel youth camp, which has been going strong for over 38 years. They sacrificed vacation and resources for years to lay the foundation to bless pre-teen youth. 

I witnessed Don breaking up a fight at Wendy’s in Wytheville, Virginia, trying to run down a mugger in Charlottesville, Virginia, and making sure a dying friend was ready to meet his maker. Don wasn’t going to merely sit in my rental car one cold Kansas City night when we tried to interrupt President Ronald Reagan’s motorcade route. Don jumped out of the car and asked if we could stand on the street as the president went by. Then two hillbillies stood alone and waved at a gracious, smiling, and waving President Reagan. He must have recognized Don. 

I could go on and on with more examples and dozens of friends could add countless stories of Don and Ruby not merely standing by when there was a need in their community, church, or circle of friends. My most personal example happened the first Friday in June, 2004.  I had just gotten off the phone with a godly surgeon, Dr. Michael Rowell, when my whole world turned dark and uncertain. I had just learned my wife Betty, at 46, had stage 4 cancer and would not live over 2 more years. I immediately called my friend Don and could only utter one word—“Come.”   His response was classic Don: “We’re on the way.” For the next 1½ years Don and Ruby Wampler became our rainy day people. Coming for one of the surgeries at UVA, where Ruby stayed up with Betty at night, bringing food, and making more visits then I can remember.  But it was during Betty’s last week they came and basically stayed, being with us as Betty made her journey. One of the last names Betty spoke was “Don.” 

Hebrews 12 talks about being surrounded by “a cloud of witnesses” and about running the race of life. All races have finished lines; Don reached his finished line on March 31. I believe it is not a stretch to say the cloud of witnesses will be at our finish line to welcome us home. Last Sunday, Don was welcomed home by his Mom and Dad, Mr. and Mrs. Greene, Lester MacKinnon, Betty, and so many more.  All of these greetings had to be joyous, but it was that greeting from the one Don called “My Jesus” that Don is enjoying the most today and for eternity. Don Wampler is not a bystander in heaven today. He is enjoying revealed glory (Romans 8:18).  

So how do we go on without this most influential person in our lives? I must admit it is hard and painful but I am more determined not to model father Adam when it comes to being a bystander. With God’s help and Don’s example, I want to be all in for my family, church, friends, and community. God help us to finish our races well.

Don and Ruby Wampler, Thanksgiving 2017

May All Who Come Behind Us Find Us Faithful

Casting Your Bread

Ecclesiastes 11:1

“Cast your bread up on the waters, for you will find it after many days.”

I’m certain I wasn’t thinking about this verse on a hot July afternoon 36 years ago, when my front doorbell rang in Abingdon, Virginia. I was just hoping it didn’t wake the 14-month-old and the 3-year-old. I was also wondering when my wife was going to be home from a shopping trip with her mother. When she left that morning, she reminded me that husbands don’t babysit their own children; they do their duty as a father. I always hated it when she was right, which was 99% of the time. 

Back to the front door. When I opened the front door, there they stood: a dad, a nine-year-old son, a six-year-old son, and a three-year-old daughter; the mother was waiting in the truck. They were selling firewood because that’s how they made a living. I was a junior accountant in those days, making about $180 per week, and cutting my own firewood to heat my house. I told him I wasn’t interested and he said, “thank you,” and then they began to walk away. Don’t ask why, but I called after him to wait and then asked how much. I think it was $40 for a load of wood and I said, “Ok, I’ll take it.” 

Then I watched as this family from Lodi, Virginia, living in a hand hewn log house with outdoor plumbing, began to work as a team. I heard his children say “Yes sir” and “Yes ma’am.” I was so impressed that I became an unpaid salesperson for them, selling first to my brother, Phil, and then my neighbors. I would borrow Phil’s truck on Saturdays and take my neighbors to Lodi, where we got to know this remarkable family.  Here are some of the lessons they taught us:

• Whatever work you do, do your best; there’s dignity in work 
• Good manners are not restricted to economic status    
• Academic and athletic success can be achieved by anyone who is doing their best, even if they live in a hand hewn log cabin in Lodi
• Heartbreak comes to all of us and many times it’s unexpected

I think you can already tell how they taught us the first two lessons by example, but the others came over time. 

One Saturday, I was returning from Lodi with two neighbors and a load of wood. Ed was a retired consultant on airport management for the United Nations. When I first approached him about this family, he told me he didn’t believe in charity, but that didn’t last long. My other neighbor was a pediatrician from Richlands who had retired to Abingdon. On this Saturday Ed and the doctor were talking about how the Lodi family was so extraordinary. The two were puzzled about how they could be so articulate and well-mannered, until the doctor came up with the answer. He surmised that the mother must have some aristocratic heritage. I promise, I didn’t laugh out loud. You see, just because someone is poor, they’re not necessarily crude or ignorant. I think we’ve seen plenty examples in recent days where people of wealth are crude. 

Before that day was finished, Ed and the doctor had promised all of the children $5 for every “A” on their report card. I’m not sure how much that amounted to, but both boys were eventually granted academic and athletic scholarships to college. The oldest son attended the University of Virginia and the youngest went to Emory and Henry.

One day Ed called me over to his driveway to talk with him and the the oldest son. This man who didn’t believe in charity had taken the young man to an expensive men’s clothing store to outfit him for school. I was tempted to remind him of his thoughts on charity, but didn’t, because I was just happy to see such wonderful generosity.

The last lesson was a hard one. The family’s young daughter was killed in an accident around the age of five. As a result, we learned that grief is hard and comes to all of us. We saw the examples of a good pastor in Bristol—Lester MacKinnon—and the kindness of my brother Phil, neither of whom knew the family, but made sure the funeral expenses were paid. 

My family and I moved to Indiana soon after the oldest son started college and I haven’t seen or heard from the Lodi family in more than 28 years.    

So how is it that this true story came back to me today, December 28, 2017 and why did I think of bread casting? As I was helping a client at Faith in Action, I received a wonderful gift from God. This client from Damascus didn’t want to be there. He was embarrassed and wanted to be a good provider for his family, but life hadn’t been kind to him. As we were taking care of his electric bill, I made some conversation to put him and his wife at ease. I asked if she was a native of Damascus and she said yes. Then she said, “Maybe you know my family...” I thought, “How in the world would I know your family?” But she told me her maiden name and—you may have guessed it—the Lodi father was her uncle and the boys were her cousins. I told her I did know them, and asked about the family. It turns out the oldest son graduated from UVA and is a missionary for his church, while the youngest is doing well in his career. Both parents are fine and still very active.  

More than 36 years ago, I cast $40 (which was a lot of money at that time) and today it came back to me. What would this family have achieved without Ed, the doctor, Lester MacKinnon, and Phil? Only God knows, but today He let me find a nugget. Some might say my conversation at Faith in Action was coincidental, but I say it was a gift from a God who cares for me. I believe every day is a good day for bread casting. You never know how or when it will return to you, but I assure you it will. 

Violin Concert

I went to a violin concert on Saturday in Knoxville, TN.  It starred Leah Abigail
Thelen.  Perhaps you have heard of her but if you haven't, you will.  Leah is my
charming, talented, brilliant, and beautiful granddaughter.   Leah is just six years
old and already starring in a major violin concert.  OK, It was about 20 students playing about one minute each but Leah was definitely the star.  I may have exaggerated a little as all the students were stars and it might have been just a recital but I came away thankful for a lot.

• I am thankful for the Leah's home that encourages her and her sister Molly to explore different activities to find their bent
• I am thankful for Leah's home that is full of music that expresses hearts full of joy and lives full of hope
• I am thankful for the promises of Psalm 42:8  "By day the LORD directs his at night his song is with me-- a prayer to the God of my life."

Leah

George Young understood songs in the night.  He was a carpenter, and a preacher of the gospel. In the late nineteenth century he labored in obscurity, serving small rural areas in the United States. Today, there is not even a reliable record of the dates of his birth and death.  Often his income was so small he had difficulty supporting his wife and family. Even so, he kept on diligently serving the Lord.

Finally, after a great deal of effort and years of sacrifice, the Young's were able to move into a small house they had built for themselves. All were delighted with the new place, but tragedy soon overtook them. While George was away holding meetings in another community, some ruffians who were hostile to the gospel he preached set fire to the Young’s home burning it to the ground.

In 1903, George Young published a hymn for which he wrote both words and music. It is a testimony to his faith in God, in spite of this severe trial. It depicts different kinds of circumstances and experiences we face in life, with a reminder that the Lord provides for us in them all. The opening stanza paints a lovely picture, reminiscent of the 23rd Psalm. But the author was well aware that not all of life is like that. The song’s refrain gives a more sobering view of life’s trials:

1. In shady, green pastures, so rich and so sweet,
   God leads His dear children along;
   Where the water’s cool flow bathes the weary one’s feet,
   God leads His dear children along.
   • Refrain:
     Some through the waters, some through the flood,
     Some through the fire, but all through the blood;
     Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song,
     In the night season and all the day long.
2. Sometimes on the mount where the sun shines so bright,
   God leads His dear children along;
   Sometimes in the valley, in darkest of night,
   God leads His dear children along.
3. Though sorrows befall us and evils oppose,
   God leads His dear children along;
   Through grace we can conquer, defeat all our foes,
   God leads His dear children along.
4. Away from the mire, and away from the clay,
   God leads His dear children along;
   Away up in glory, eternity’s day,
   God leads His dear children along.

Maybe you are in a night season today.  A time of struggle, sorrow, or hurt.  Remember, God gives the song and leads His dear children along.  

Leaving A Legacy

I recently lost a good friend when Bob Kilgore was promoted to heaven.   While I usually wouldn't share a eulogy  except at a celebration service, I thought it might do us all good to think about the life of  this faithful man.
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I am Larry Bays from Ecumenical Faith in Action and it is my privilege to be here today to celebrate the life of Bob Kilgore.   Faith in Action is a Christian Mission to the poor and hurting in our community.   The name Christian means Little Christ and those that follow with Christ’s teaching,  including putting the interest of others before our own.

While there are many names and adjectives to describe Bob such as good son and brother, faithful and devoted husband, loving father and grandfather, trusted colleague, patriot, and dependable friend, the one that described him best is Christian. To each and every one he was known as a caring gentleman, a good man.   I agree with Neal Kilgore who said if you look at the definition of gentleman in Webster Dictionary, it would reference Bob.  I would take it one step further; it would have his picture with his big and gentle smile.

I got to know Bob at Faith in Action where he served so faithfully.   But to me Bob was more than someone who volunteered, Bob was my friend.  Bob and I found we had a lot in common. We both had grown up in the country in SW VA.  We both had parents who believed in hard work.  Both went  to college, both married up as Bob would say, both our wives were teachers, we both worked for public utilities, both of our wives passed away too young, and we both had helped to take care of parents after our wives had passed.

I remember the first time Bob and I went out to eat.  It was on a Friday and he had helped in the food pantry. So after we closed, Bob suggested we go for lunch.  Knowing Bob was very much a distinguished gentleman, I thought we might be going to House on Main or Wildflower Bakery but Bob had another idea.  He wanted to go to one of his favorite places to have one of his favorite meals.  So he pulled into Dairy Queen and ordered us both hot dogs.   But what a great lunch!   Having hot dogs with Bob Kilgore was better than eating steak at a country club.   I learned a lot during those meals we shared.
•  I learned about Charlene and her courage and while he never said it, Bob's care during her illness.
• I learned about taking the Mega Bus to see Scott’s family and  how he enjoyed the visit.
• I learned about his trip last year to see Sara and her family and how he admired your care for each other.
• I learned Bob was pleased about all his grandchildren’s and children’s academic and professional  achievements but  he was proud of the people  you are, your character and your caring for him, each other, and others.
• I learned Bob like to have the blessing said before meals because he was thankful.
• I learned Bob had a heart for others and was always willing to give a hand.
• I learned Bob liked to go to the small post office in Meadowview because they were nice people there.
• I learned Bob like to travel but there was no place like home in SW Virginia to him.
• I learned of Bob’s deep and enduring faith in Jesus that sustained him.  

Now to be fair, Bob and I went to more places to eat than Dairy Queen, like Macado’s but  I enjoyed Dairy Queen as much as any.  Bob was always good company.

Bob served faithfully in many areas of  Faith in Action’s Christian Mission. He worked in the food pantry, he drove patients to doctor appointments, and he would even take cardboard to be recycled.  Madelaine Warren  who arranges the transportation for patients told me patients always requested Bob because of his kindness and gentle spirit.    Kathi  Lowe our executive director emeritus told me of the time Bob observed the difficulty getting a client in the office because the only wheel chair available had no back.   Within a week a new wheelchair arrived and everyone knew Bob had arranged it but he never would admit it.

Ted White, also a AEP retiree, Civitan, and EFIA volunteer told me about the time they ran out of bread one Tuesday night. Everyone wonder where Bob had gone until he backed  his truck up to the dock with the bed covered with bread.  Bob lived a life of giving and caring.  My favorite Bob story was the night he called me at home.   He had gone to recycle the card board at JMH when the campus police thought they had a criminal.  Bob would always laugh and tell me how he fought the law and the law won.

As I was thinking about Bob earlier this week, I thought of a passage of scripture that has been paraphrased  from  Romans 12: 9-10: Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

I think these verses describe Bob perfectly and all we have to do is add his name. Bob loved from the center of who he was, there was no fake in him.  He ran for dear life from evil, and held on for dear life to good.  He was a good friend who loved deeply and Bob practiced playing second fiddle.  

While there are many adjectives to describe Bob, I think Christian is the one he valued most.  He was a faithful servant and follower of Christ.  And for us, we have been given a wonderful example by Bob to follow.  Scott and Sara (Bob's children), you have been given a wonderful legacy.  May all who come behind Bob Kilgore be found faithful.

God bless you.

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THE REBEL JESUS

I have enjoyed the music of the Chieftains for many years. I think I purchased their CD called The Belles of Dublin over 10 years ago. The Chieftains are a traditional Irish band  from Dublin, Ireland. Their sound, which is almost entirely instrumental and largely built around uilleann pipes (the national bagpipes of Ireland), has become synonymous with traditional Irish music and they are regarded as having helped popularize Irish music across the world.

The Chieftains from Last.fm

One song on this CD that has always captivated me is The Rebel Jesus. The words describe a Christmas scene and how many of us go about the Christmas season. We buy presents for our friends and family, we may take an annual pilgrimage  to church, and we might consider giving something to those less fortunate.

All of these are good, but as the song instructs us, there is more.  Read these words of the third verse:

"We guard our world with locks and guns
And we guard our fine possessions
And once a year when Christmas comes
We give to our relations
And perhaps we give a little to the poor
If the generosity should seize us
But if any one of us should interfere
In the business of why they are poor
They get the same as the rebel Jesus."

As we look back at 2012, we are thankful for the many who have "interfered in the business of why they are poor" by volunteering at and financially supporting your Faith in Action. You are Faith in Action. Also, we are asking for your continued support in 2013 as we focus on the "why they are poor." 

The Rebel Jesus
(Click on The Rebel Jesus to hear this song.)

Be Strong and Courageous

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9

When have you been afraid? I remember growing up in our holler on the Benham Road in Bristol, VA being awaken one night by the scream of a bobcat. My adrenaline was pumping and my heart was racing. Adrenaline has numerous effects on different parts of the body such as more blood will traveling to our brains which makes our minds keener.  The adrenaline kick will usually last for one or two minutes, during which time you’ll have hopefully dealt with the dangerous situation. Isn't the design of the body by God amazing? Adrenaline may allow us to show more courage in dangerous situations.

I recently read a list of things that frighten us. The top ten are as follows:

survivingsurvivalism.com 

1. Fear of flying
2. Fear of public speaking
3. Fear of heights
4. Fear of the dark
5. Fear of intimacy
6. Fear of death, dying
7. Fear of failure
8. Fear of rejection
9. Fear of spiders
10. Fear of commitment

According to this list, we would rather die than fly or be required to speak in public. I did find it humorous that fear of clowns was number 22. I guess some people do fear me (my friend Phil Leonard always said I was a clown.)

I must admit I was fearful this week after seeing how divided we are in our country as shown in the election results. What really concerns me is our inability to address real issues without lying about the issues and then demonizing our political opponents. Our country has major issues to address and it will not be led from the White House but from our houses. Christians will be required more now than ever to be strong and courageous.

We may think this thing of courage is not required but according to the first chapter of Joshua it is a command. Actually God is commanding Joshua to be strong and courageous. But with God there is always a promise. God told Joshua “for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

We can let fear dominate our life or we can choose to be strong and courageous. We can let fear grip our heart and influence our decisions. We can rationalize why we can’t be strong or courageous. We can justify why we should be discouraged and drown in self-pity and yet what does God command? “Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

“The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” What a wonderful promise for the family of God.

Yes, there is a Mayberry

This week marks the passing of Andy Griffith, someone we all wanted to know. Actually we all want to know someone like the character he played on the Andy Griffith Show, Sheriff Andy Taylor. 

 

In the show, Andy is a widower and father to one young son, Opie. Andy's Aunt Bee acts as his live-in housekeeper and as surrogate grandmother to Opie. Andy goes fishing with his son and often spends evenings on the front porch strumming his guitar.  Andy always covers for his bumbling deputy, Barney Fife and he loves to play pranks.  He always helps the less fortunate, helps his community, goes to church, and is a giver. 

On July 6 after a hot day of work loading food in cars at the food pantry, I decided it was time for a hair cut.  I usually go to Wal Mart (I like to hear my name announced on the intercom at Wal Mart, “Larry Bays to Cost Cutters”).  But I forgot to take exit 7 so I ended up in my community of Indian Springs where there is an old fashion barber shop like Floyd's Barber Shop.   I had never been there before but decided to give it a try.  

When I went inside, my local pharmacist and friend, Michael Messamore, had just gotten in the barber's chair. Seeing Michael there gave me some comfort that this was not a butcher shop for hair.  Michael knows me well, having provided all of the medicine and chemo 5-FU for my late wife Betty.  Michael always waited on me personally and would always tell me that he, his wife Laura and daughter Sarah were praying for us.  As Michael was leaving he told me Sarah is getting married next week.  I then remembered how Andy Taylor never wanted to look like he had just gotten a hair cut.  I thought that’s why Michael was here a week before Sarah’s wedding day; he had watched Andy explain that to Opie.  Yes, there is a Mayberry!

 

Also in the Indian Springs barber shop, asleep on the couch, was my good friend Jim Fuller.  Jim and I have breakfast about once a month.  I sat down next to Jim and starting gently pulling the paper off his chest, just like Andy would do to Barney.  As the barber and Michael laughed, I tried to startle my friend Jim.  Jim eventually woke up and we caught up on what was happening in both of our lives.  We set a date for our next breakfast and argued about whose turn it was to buy.    Jim is a really good man and he comes from the good stock.  I met Jim about three years ago. He is retired from Eastman Chemical, a native of Bristol, VA, a graduate of Virginia Tech, a faithful husband, good dad and granddad, and is experienced with grief.    When I first met Jim I learned his dad was the Fuller of the Fuller Bus Line in Bristol from years ago.  I have fond memories of Mr. Fuller from a Christmas morning around 1959.  My dad loved to drive buses and would drive charter buses for Mr. Fuller on weekends.  On that Christmas morning, Mr. Fuller was out delivering ham and turkey to all of his employees just like Andy and Barney on the Andy Griffith Show.    I never forgot his kindness to my dad and to our family.  Yes, there is a Mayberry!

I have the privilege of working for an organization that helps feed over 2000 people each month.   Through this organization people in need are provided clothing, transportation, medical treatment, medicine, and financial assistance.   We are actually like Andy, we are not Andy Taylor but we are representing over 20 churches, 400 volunteers, and civic minded companies in our community.  Because of them and volunteers like Marty, Nancy,  Sally,  Bill, Bob, Mary Ann, Penny, Madelyn, Kathy, Jane, Sharon, Don, Bruce, and too many others to list, we are able to serve our community in a effective and efficient way.  Yes, there is a Mayberry!